Trying to Find Meaning in My MS

Guest post by: Anna Giannakourus 

One day I was jogging, and I kept tripping over my feet. I was pregnant at the time, and already had a lot of back pain so I didn’t think too much of it. I waited for the pregnancy to pass and for my body to go back to normal but after my baby was born, I began experiencing weakness in my legs. I couldn’t wear high heels anymore and I kept losing my balance. With everything going on, I didn’t put too much thought into what it could be and figured it would pass.     

Months later, I went out for another jog and completely lost the feeling in my legs. I fell to the ground and had to crawl until the feeling came back. I had one other relapse before going to see a doctor and eventually getting an MRI test. Sure enough, I had lesions all over my brain and my spinal cord. 

I didn’t want to believe it, so I went to numerous doctors to get different opinions. Yet every doctor told me the same thing, “You most likely have MS.” 

After hearing my diagnosis, I was determined to become the healthiest version of myself. I started eating paleo, exercising daily, seeing a therapist, and ensuring that my stress levels were at a minimum.  

For 10 years, my MS was invisible. There were many times I was experiencing symptoms, but no one could tell. In 2015, my leg disability worsened and became apparent. I had an MRI done but there were no new lesions found in my brain. I didn’t understand how that was possible because of these worsening symptoms. That’s when an MRI of my spinal cord revealed that it was covered in new lesions. 

I stopped working in the IT industry and participated in a stem cell clinical trial that could possibly help prevent progression but unfortunately, my disease ultimately progressed to secondary-progressive MS. It was devastating, and I had to come to terms with the fact that I would not improve passed this point in the progression and getting worse every year.  

I’ve since accepted that I will be disabled in the future. It was the most difficult thing to accept, and I do get upset about it at times, but it’s so important to accept the emotion and understand that it’s a normal and valid feeling, and then let it go.

I’m now in this place where I feel at peace and that I’m living my life as best as I could. Aside from living with secondary progressive MS, I am in excellent health. I have a wonderful family, friends and dog. I have my hobbies and so many blessings in my life.  

I’m learning to live every day to its full potential, but I do still worry about how far my MS will progress. My biggest fear is that I will be completely dependant on other people one day.  It’s a valid fear, but I don’t dwell on it. It’s a thought that I let pass so that I can continue to live a more fulfilling life.  

I’ve been humbled living with this disease. I’ve always been a giving person but after being diagnosed with MS, I’ve made it a priority to donate to help other Canadians living with this disease. What’s important in life is that we connect with others, and we support each other. There’s nothing better than helping people that are in need. 

When people donate to the MS Society, they’re helping people fight something that is harder to fight on their own. People living with MS across the country need each of our support and love to continue the fight against this disease. 

I want people who are newly diagnosed to find meaning in their diagnosis. Just because you’ve been diagnosed with a chronic illness it does not mean that it’s the end of your life. It’s the beginning of becoming the best version of yourself. 

Make your #GivingTuesday gift today, where your donation will make 3x the impact for Canadians, like Anna. Your TRIPLED donation will help diminish the uncertainty people affected by MS face by providing better treatment options, support program options, and educational experience options – options to make their lives brighter. 

  1. Georgia Skoulos says:

    Beautiful! Keep smiling Anna ❤️

  2. Digvijay S says:

    Dear Anna Giannakourus,
    I am pleased to read your blogspot and though we have not met each other in person yet but,I read your blogspot and just thaught we are close to each other by our sole and soul relative SPMS (secondary progressive MS). I am not from a developed place like you do but yet your thoughts shared here are a great inspiration to me in my present situation and also inspires me to be more creative . Thanks a lot for inspirimg me in this situation too.

  3. Doug says:

    I enjoyed reading this. I’ve had MS for many years before being diagnosed in 2003. Your backed into a corner and the only reach have to to aid those who need what you didn’t get. I was a grassroots contributor to MS of Canada’s peer to peer program and as the program grew nicely privacy concerns and a lack of credentials in mental health I was ruled out. The peer to peer program is a great asset! I still wander around in MS help forums on social media and hear the same stresses we went threw when first diagnosed – my hats off to you Anna.

  4. Christine Scott says:

    I have been diagnoste with MS after the birth of our son, 25 years ago.
    I have gone through almost all of these symptoms. I started going to UBC for help. I was put on a pill called Aubagio. [ have to believe that it is working for me, so I will stay posative

  5. Kristen Edwards says:

    Would love to befriend someone like you. I have been in a similar situation in 2016 when I advocated for those who were diagnosed like me to the Kingston community. I am also in the progression of secondary, and am alone in my struggles. I don’t have a relationship with anyone who has been diagnosed, that has been ongoing, and sometimes feel alone in my struggles at my age. If you’d like to contact me please feel free.

  6. Katherine Bhana says:

    After 20 years of MS treated from 2000 to 2006 with Rebif(efficient to that year) and then Avonex(not efficient to calm down my lesions’ number increase) i found this website Natural herbs enter . just 3 months ago, and their current Ayurvedic health tech to help curb/manage it. Decided to give it a try and it has made a tremendous difference for me I had improved walking balance, muscle strength and improved vision, always thankful for nature that helps in managing these terrible diseases. Thank you for giving those of us with Multiple sclerosis a new hope. Google natural herbs centre. com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.